ACA cofounder Tony A. published a new version of the Twelve Steps in his 1991 book ``The Laundry List: The ACoA Experience.’’ The Laundry List is a list of 14 traits that capture the personality and thinking of an adult reared in a dysfunctional home. Tony’s 1991 steps focus on self-love and self-forgiveness. They are quite different than the traditional Twelve Steps adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous.

Here is an example of Step Three:
``We made a decision to practice self-love and to trust in a Higher Power of our understanding.’’
AA’s Third Step:
``Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.’’

Tony was a concurrent member of Alcoholics Anonymous and Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA/ACA). He believed in AA and its proven method for helping the suffering alcoholic; however, Tony began tinkering with rewording the Twelve Steps soon after helping found ACoA in 1978. He refined his version of the Twelve Steps during the next 11 years and published them in 1991. Tony's Steps are not presented here due to copyright reasons.

Meanwhile, the Adult Children of Alcoholics fellowship adopted and approved the AA Steps for fellowship use in 1984. This was seven years before Tony's published his book and his Steps. The AA Steps and Traditions were adopted by the ACoA (ACA) Annual Business Conference of 1984. This is known as the fellowship vote for autonomy for ACoA (ACA). The AA adapted Steps are the fellowship approved Steps for ACoA (ACA).

The AA Steps, as adapted by Adult Children of Alcoholics, incorporate many of Tony's ideas on self-love and self-forgiveness while also retaining the original principles and meaning of the AA Steps.

For example, Step Four incorporates a compelling feature of Tony's Fourth Step which calls for a blameless inventory of the parents. This feature is unheard of in Twelve Step fellowships, which have erected a firewall against looking at anyone else during the inventory process.

Most Twelve Step fellowships believe that you cannot look at parental behavior without falling into blame and self pity. Tony disagreed. Tony believed we internalized our parents’ dysfunctional behavior as children. He believed we could not find clarity or peace of mind until we inventoried what had been handed off to us by our parent, grandparents or relatives. When you look at the generational nature of how family dysfunction is passed on from parent to child, Tony was right. We have internalized our parents’ behavior and passed it on to our children. However, this is not the end for us. We can take a blameless and fair inventory of our parents balanced with an inventory of ourselves. The ACoA/ACA Steps bring true change and peace of mind.

ACA WSO